Upping the Ante on Action
Of course, as is the case with all writing tips, not all of the below will be relevant for all aspects of your writing. However, if you feel the action is dragging a little, implementing some of these tips can help pick up the pace.
Replace weak adverb and verb combinations with more powerful verbs. E.g. Instead of “He moved quickly down the hall” use “He hurried down the hall” or “He sprinted down the hall”. Instead of “He moved furtively down the hallway” use “He snuck down the hallway.” Instead of, " She spoke quietly" use "She whispered." Very is one of the most overused words and rarely adds anything. In most cases, it can be removed without detracting from the writing. Similarly, watch out for overuse of adjectives or adjectives that are propping up weak nouns. E.g. A “light wind” is usually better referred to as a “breeze”.
Get rid of unnecessary detail. We don’t need to know that he went to the cupboard, opened the cupboard, withdrew a tin of spaghetti, got a can opener, opened the spaghetti and so on, which can be relayed as effectively by writing: “He opened a tin of spaghetti.” The reader fills in the blanks because everyone knows how a tin is opened. Also avoid describing things everybody is already familiar with, unless it differs in some way. For instance, why describe a police car? We all know what a police car looks like (unless you're in another country and need to describe it for some reason relevant to the plot).
Only describe things that are essential. If a man walks through a room on the way to another, we don’t need a description of both rooms. Similarly don't describe in great detail places that are only temporary settings in your story and don't describe cameo characters. The reader doesn’t need to know what haircut the truck driver had unless it is relevant to the story. Likewise, they don't need backstory on cameos (unless it directly affects plot), and in most novels, cameos don't even need a name.
Don’t tell us what wasn’t there: tell us what was there. E.g. Don’t write, there was no light in the cellar, write “The cellar was dark.”
Remove redundant words, actions or conversations. Some common ones are: She whispered softly, he continued on, the sky above hung down on them, he stood up, the end result, past history, a brief glance, close vicinity, he returned back, his heart thumped in his chest.
“That” can usually be removed altogether. E.g. “Edna knew Robert had a drinking problem”, not “Edna knew that Robert had a drinking problem”.
Delete qualifiers if they are not entirely necessary, common culprits for example are: a little, rather, fairly, kind of, quite, really, very, slightly, somewhat, sort of.
Remove articles. E.g. Instead of “A burst of anger gripped her” write “Anger gripped her." Instead of "The bulls bellowed out in the darkness," write “Bulls bellowed out in the darkness.”
Do a find on all uses of “the fact that”. E.g. This was due to the fact that he was only seventeen. In 99% of cases, "the fact that" can go.
Avoid circumlocution. Rather than “The time was fast approaching when they would run out of food and be forced to abandon their hiding place” write. “Food was running low; soon, they’d have to abandon their hiding place.
Body parts shouldn’t be acting independently, for instance, “his hand waved” instead of “he waved.” You can get away with some, e.g. "Her eyes gleamed" (because to say "she gleamed" would obscure the meaning). But try not to do things such as "Her feet kicked the table leg" rather than "she kicked the table leg." Or at least not unless you specifically want to draw attention to the body part.
Delete “began to”, e.g. She began to smile is more immediate as “she smiled.”
Don’t tell readers too much. It’s confusing. Compare: "She threw the bag over her left shoulder, swung her right leg over the motorbike and clasped his waist with her left hand" with “She climbed onto the motorbike and clasped his waist.”
Seek out clichés and remove them or rewrite them. E.g. soft as butter, cold as ice, a trusted servant, a mighty river.
Delete unnecessary instances of “seemed to” and “appeared to.”
Replace weak adverb and verb combinations with more powerful verbs. E.g. Instead of “He moved quickly down the hall” use “He hurried down the hall” or “He sprinted down the hall”. Instead of “He moved furtively down the hallway” use “He snuck down the hallway.” Instead of, " She spoke quietly" use "She whispered." Very is one of the most overused words and rarely adds anything. In most cases, it can be removed without detracting from the writing. Similarly, watch out for overuse of adjectives or adjectives that are propping up weak nouns. E.g. A “light wind” is usually better referred to as a “breeze”.
Get rid of unnecessary detail. We don’t need to know that he went to the cupboard, opened the cupboard, withdrew a tin of spaghetti, got a can opener, opened the spaghetti and so on, which can be relayed as effectively by writing: “He opened a tin of spaghetti.” The reader fills in the blanks because everyone knows how a tin is opened. Also avoid describing things everybody is already familiar with, unless it differs in some way. For instance, why describe a police car? We all know what a police car looks like (unless you're in another country and need to describe it for some reason relevant to the plot).
Only describe things that are essential. If a man walks through a room on the way to another, we don’t need a description of both rooms. Similarly don't describe in great detail places that are only temporary settings in your story and don't describe cameo characters. The reader doesn’t need to know what haircut the truck driver had unless it is relevant to the story. Likewise, they don't need backstory on cameos (unless it directly affects plot), and in most novels, cameos don't even need a name.
Don’t tell us what wasn’t there: tell us what was there. E.g. Don’t write, there was no light in the cellar, write “The cellar was dark.”
Remove redundant words, actions or conversations. Some common ones are: She whispered softly, he continued on, the sky above hung down on them, he stood up, the end result, past history, a brief glance, close vicinity, he returned back, his heart thumped in his chest.
“That” can usually be removed altogether. E.g. “Edna knew Robert had a drinking problem”, not “Edna knew that Robert had a drinking problem”.
Delete qualifiers if they are not entirely necessary, common culprits for example are: a little, rather, fairly, kind of, quite, really, very, slightly, somewhat, sort of.
Remove articles. E.g. Instead of “A burst of anger gripped her” write “Anger gripped her." Instead of "The bulls bellowed out in the darkness," write “Bulls bellowed out in the darkness.”
Do a find on all uses of “the fact that”. E.g. This was due to the fact that he was only seventeen. In 99% of cases, "the fact that" can go.
Avoid circumlocution. Rather than “The time was fast approaching when they would run out of food and be forced to abandon their hiding place” write. “Food was running low; soon, they’d have to abandon their hiding place.
Body parts shouldn’t be acting independently, for instance, “his hand waved” instead of “he waved.” You can get away with some, e.g. "Her eyes gleamed" (because to say "she gleamed" would obscure the meaning). But try not to do things such as "Her feet kicked the table leg" rather than "she kicked the table leg." Or at least not unless you specifically want to draw attention to the body part.
Delete “began to”, e.g. She began to smile is more immediate as “she smiled.”
Don’t tell readers too much. It’s confusing. Compare: "She threw the bag over her left shoulder, swung her right leg over the motorbike and clasped his waist with her left hand" with “She climbed onto the motorbike and clasped his waist.”
Seek out clichés and remove them or rewrite them. E.g. soft as butter, cold as ice, a trusted servant, a mighty river.
Delete unnecessary instances of “seemed to” and “appeared to.”